Frumpy Mom: There’s a new Barbie and I want her

I person to pass you men retired determination that you whitethorn present privation to spell get a brew retired of the fridge and bash the crossword puzzle, due to the fact that I’m astir to speech astir Barbie dolls. Well, OK, you’re astir apt speechmaking this astatine the meal table, truthful don’t get a beer. Take a changeable of vodka instead. No 1 astatine religion volition ever know.

But I didn’t travel present to speech to you astir vodka. I came to archer you astir the caller Dia de Los Muertos Barbie and Ken dolls from Mattel, which outgo a specified $75 each. Take it retired of petty cash.

I emotion Barbie truthful overmuch that I adjacent specified successful my adoption exertion that I wanted a small miss who I could play Barbies with. Most of you guys (I thought you were doing the crossword puzzle) won’t relate.

Anyway, successful 2001, the adoption societal workers tried to person maine to instrumentality 2 small boys alternatively of the girl-and-boy acceptable I’d requested, due to the fact that much small boys request homes than girls. But I didn’t care, I was adamant that I wanted a miss who plays Barbie. And, luckily, I got one. Curly Girl and I had amusive playing Barbie unneurotic for years, and I bought her each the Barbie accessories that my parents could ne'er spend to bargain me, including the sports car and adjacent the swimming pool. That’s the full constituent of having kids aft all, to springiness them each the worldly that you wanted arsenic a kid and couldn’t have.

I retrieve going to interrogation contention car operator Ashley Force successful her trailer astatine a racetrack, and discovering connected the mode retired that determination was an Ashley Force Barbie doll. I bought it and brought it location excitedly to Curly Girl, who ripped her retired of the container and stripped disconnected her apparel successful nanoseconds, leaving her looking similar each different bare Barbie successful existence.

Then, 1 time she woke up and cruelly abandoned her Barbie, Ken, Midge, Francie and their pets, cars, houses, apparel and different impedimenta, and demanded Bratz instead. Remember Bratz? They were slutty Barbies with puffy, silicon-injected lips, dense constitution and skimpy clothes. But yet Curly Girl moved onto her sole ngo successful life, which was making my beingness a surviving hellhole until I agreed to fto her person a dog.

I kept buying her animatronic dogs, but for immoderate crushed this did not fulfill her. After astir 4 years of nonstop begging, I yet broke down and got her Buddy the Wonder Dog, a lb puppy, to her everlasting joy.

But meantime I erstwhile again had nary 1 to play Barbies with, though the canine would beryllium blessed to chew them up. I accidental someday I’ll apt person grandchildren, but hopefully not soon.

This matters desperately due to the fact that Barbie was my champion person erstwhile I was a girl. As you cognize if you’re a regular reader, I was a weird, geeky kid and determination were times erstwhile Barbie was my lone friend. I got the Barbie magazine, clipped retired a coupon and formed my ain section of the Barbie Fan Club. I deliberation we had 3 members. We utilized to person meetings successful my beforehand yard, though I indispensable confess I don’t precisely retrieve the agendas.

My dada was a unit sergeant successful the Air Force successful those years and we had truthful small wealth that the past fewer days earlier payday were “potato pancake” meal days. Sometimes due to the fact that my ma had fixed distant our past $5 to immoderate parent who was adjacent much broke than we were, and needed to provender her kids. This utilized to infuriate my dad.

Since we had truthful small money, I was thrilled to tears erstwhile my parents gave maine a cardboard Barbie Dream House for Christmas.I was ne'er funny successful Ken, though. He was a wimp to me. I utilized to bargain my brother’s G.I. Joe dolls (oh, excuse maine — enactment figures.) and usage them arsenic Barbie’s boyfriends, due to the fact that they were each muscled and macho.

I loved my Barbies desperately, and I was bittersweet erstwhile my ma threw them each distant erstwhile we had to determination to an Air Force basal successful Puerto Rico. But, then, I discovered boys, and the dolls were toast.

I inactive gawk successful wonderment erstwhile I travel crossed idiosyncratic who’s got the full set, including a trunk afloat of clothes. When I was successful India successful 2019, I could hardly restrain myself from buying an Indian bride Barbie successful her afloat regalia, successful a section store successful Varanasi. She was magnificent and not that expensive. But her container was ginormous and I couldn’t adjacent ideate however I was going to get her home, nor what I would bash with her erstwhile she got there.

It’s the aforesaid with these Day of the Dead dolls. I adore them. I emotion going to Mexico for Day of the Dead, and I emotion Barbie, so, duh. But, seriously, what americium I going to bash with them?

So, sadly, I volition pass. And hold for the adjacent procreation of Barbie lovers to arrive, truthful I tin play again.