20 years of Successful Aging: Here’s what readers wanted to discuss

Each October, I constitute an day file that reflects what I person learned from our readers.

This is twelvemonth 20, and this is the 990th column.

The mentation for the file is extensive. I reread each email from this past twelvemonth and past benignant each 1 according to its topic. Topics with the astir responses typically are included successful the column. Note I reply each communication.

This year, I received much emails than immoderate different year. Perhaps folks had much clip to read, respond and respond. The subjects were the astir varied successful my 20 years of file writing. They included ageism, humor, employment, the pandemic, exercise, technology, elder abuse, technology, loneliness, curiosity and more.

Here are immoderate responses from conscionable 3 of the topics. The file connected day cards received the astir response, each reflecting beardown opinions. The contented was whether day cards that poke amusive astatine aging are a signifier of wit oregon are ageist and insulting.

Birthday cards: One scholar wrote, “humor is decidedly needed successful our lives….(it) volition prevail due to the fact that aging is thing we cannot power and it happens to each of us, truthful wherefore not lighten up and spot the comic side.” A scholar of the Press-Enterprise is good acquainted with greeting cards, having fixed his bride 2,000 of them implicit a 33-year joined life. He writes that “cards mildly gag astir shared realities and are an accidental for affable bonding alternatively than harmful discrimination…and are fixed arsenic a motion of emotion oregon friendship, not utilized arsenic weapons.” America is losing its consciousness of humor, writes another. After 40 years moving successful a geriatric setting, a carnal therapist indicates helium has learned however to laughter astatine the trials and tribulations of aging.

Here’s the last enactment from an 83-year-old reader: “Save the flowers for my funeral. I overmuch similar a comic greeting card. Sock it to me.” Another solved the contented of selecting a day paper by considering the narration with the day persons and whether they tin laughter astatine themselves. Ageism and day cards are “the slightest of our worries,” writes a acrophobic reader.  “We should beryllium concentrating connected much important issues specified arsenic property favoritism successful the workplace.”

Some readers were insulted by day cards that made amusive of aging, though they were successful the minority. A caring woman was upset astatine what she considered insulting day cards sent to her hubby she described arsenic an “intelligent, charming and handsome husband.” He received jokey cards from each of his children connected his 60th birthday. Another offended scholar astatine property 77 called specified cards “insipid and maudlin.” Yet different scholar believes we request to alteration the narrative. “I emotion the wit but (the cards) I saw were crap.” She liked the anti-aging cards from “Changing the Narrative,” a non-profit enactment committed to extremity ageism together. See changingthenarrativeco.org/anti-ageist-birthday-cards/.

Ageism: Age bias, a wide issue, was adjacent observed successful church. One scholar said parishioners successful their 20s, 30s and adjacent 40s walked by them arsenic if they were invisible. Another wanted to marque a aesculapian assignment and requested a determination that was adjacent to debar a agelong drive, fixed she is 81 years old. The adjunct said to her, “Really? You don’t dependable 81.” This scholar past told her that astatine 8:00 that greeting she walked implicit 3 miles. There was silence. As the scholar noted, “Not definite however property 81 is expected to sound!” Then determination was the contented of an carnal structure refusing to springiness an older imaginable favored proprietor a dog. A scholar who is simply a favored person supported the determination to “discriminate against seniors who privation to follow a favored since a steadfast favored tin unrecorded up to 18-20 years.” Another noted that the media including print, online and TV absorption connected younger radical and dainty older radical arsenic helpless, useless oregon adjacent worse “sweeties.” She recovered the Successful Aging file “truly a enactment of caller aerial to simply beryllium treated arsenic a person.” Thank you M.F.

Covid impact: A pistillate scholar is 87 who lives alone, walks her 13-year-old mini schnauzer, checks her stocks and emails, cooks, cleans and gardens and find that inactive is not enough. She misses friends and assemblage artwork. A grandma who needed to beryllium isolated from her grandchildren due to the fact that her hubby was immune-compromised felt she was perceived arsenic the absent grandma which was upsetting to her. Another pistillate successful her 70s recovered a mode to support engaged during Covid by looking aft a young person who is homeless, providing that idiosyncratic with astatine slightest 1 bully repast a day.

There’s overmuch much to beryllium continued adjacent week. In the meantime, enactment harmless and well, and beryllium benignant to yourself and others.

Helen Dennis is simply a nationally recognized person connected issues of aging, employment and the caller status with academic, firm and nonprofit experience.  Contact Helen with your questions and comments astatine Helendenn@gmail.com.  Visit Helen astatine HelenMdennis.com and travel her connected facebook.com/SuccessfulagingCommunity